Being happy for others

Daylesford lake

‘O! beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the flesh it feeds on.’
(Iago to Othello, in Shakespeare’s Othello)

Some of the most miserable times in my life have been those when I have felt jealous or resentful. These can be difficult emotions for any of us – that promotion which should have been ours, the achievement someone else got credit for, the close group of friends we’re always on the outer of. Jealousy can be a sharp pang, quickly gone, or a simmering resentment which poisons our life for years. Either way, it certainly feels like we’re feeding on our own flesh, as Shakespeare so eloquently put it – it can distort our thinking, cause us to act unkindly, and impair our ability to feel happy and connected to others. Sometimes we’re justified in feeling resentful, such as when we are the victim of discrimination or abuse. Other times, however, our jealousy has more to do with our inability to be happy for the happiness of others. Everything which goes well with the other person, all their successes and joys, only serves to remind us of our own suffering and misery.

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