Tiny drops of stillness

Let tiny drops of stillness fall gently through my day.

Noel Davis

There’s nothing very dramatic about a gentle rain – sometimes it’s more like fine mist which still allows the light of the sun to shine through. Yet if we stand outside during a rain like this, in a garden perhaps or a forest, we can see the soil and the plants being nourished by the water. The soil becomes more plump, visibly replenished, and the plants shine and glow, raising limp leaves and looking much healthier.

When we reflect about what nourishes us in our own lives, we might think of something like a long holiday, which can of course do wonders for our wellbeing. Our everyday lives, however, are also filled with opportunities for being nourished, if we create the right conditions. One of the benefits of mindfulness is that we become more aware of what these conditions might be. When we are mindful, we’re also more likely to remember to cultivate these conditions in the midst of a busy day, which is the key.

There are countless ways we can be nourished during a day – a baby smiles at you as it’s being pushed past in a pram; you look up and see two birds preening each others feathers in a tree; someone in your family makes you a cup of coffee; you take a break during a long drive and walk for ten minutes in a park. We have many small opportunities for delight, for noticing something quirky or engaging which makes us smile. There is something comforting in allowing these moments to ‘fall gently through my day’, instead of needing to go searching them out all the time. Most of the time, the ‘tiny drops of stillness’ are present in our lives – we just need to slow down enough, and be receptive enough, to notice them, and to allow ourselves to be nourished by them.

Mindfulness practice idea:

Each day, try to notice five small moments of stillness in your day which nourish you. It could be a quiet moment by yourself, but it could also be a delightful interaction which brings with it a sense of pausing, and taking a moment out from the everyday routine.

Anja Tanhane

Creating space

When we’re stressed, we can often feel as if we’re being hemmed in from all sides. Too many pressures are coming at us from different direction; our thoughts might feel crowded and chaotic; and even our bodies might contract, as if the muscles themselves have less space available than before. Our breathing can be fast and shallow, so there is space we have available in our lungs which is not being filled with oxygen. It’s also not unusual to develop a kind of tunnel vision when we’re feeling under pressure – to focus obsessively on one aspect of our lives, for example, while losing sight of the bigger picture.

When we feel this way, being asked to add one more activity into our lives (such as, for example, a daily meditation practice), might seem the last thing we want to hear. The days are already full enough, why add more? It’s a reasonable question, given how busy people tend to be. Yet there are reasons why some very busy people do decide to meditate daily, and one of those reasons, I believe, is that regular meditation enables us to feel a greater sense of spaciousness in our lives.

It might be quite subtle at first – perhaps that sense that in the midst of a busy day, we can pause and take a breath from time to time – and then return to our tasks refreshed. It could be that our approach towards difficulties becomes more open, so that we’re able to perceive multiple perspectives and have a clearer sense of what is going on. We might be able to prevent a challenging conversation from escalating, so there is more chance of a resolution, and less likelihood of damage from thoughtless remarks needing to be repaired.

There are more opportunities for noticing what’s going well – and this in itself, over the years, can be life-changing. A mind which is less crowded with thoughts, a body which is nourished with a deep relaxed breath, a joyful appreciation for the areas in our lives where all is well – these can support us as we deal with the challenges which inevitably arise.

Mindfulness practice idea:

Choose a day, and consciously pause from time to time to allow yourself to notice your breath. Without forcing the breath, follow it in and out of your body four times. What do you notice from having created this space?

Anja Tanhane

Presence

Orchid in Anglesea

‘The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.’

Thich Nhat Hanh

What does it mean, to be present? In one sense we are, of course, always present. Where else could we possibly be? Yet we probably all know the feeling of being present in our bodies while our minds are elsewhere.

We also know what it’s like to be with someone who is not really present with us – who nods mechanically from time to time and mutters a disinterested ‘oh really’ while scanning over our heads to see if someone more important has arrived at the party yet. Other people have the gift of making everyone they talk to feel like the most important person in the room. We flourish in the presence of someone who is listening deeply, who is attentive and kind. Just to be in the presence of a person like that can be healing for us. Continue reading “Presence” »

Respect

Swan

‘Since I’ve been in a wheelchair, often people no longer talk to me. They talk to my carer instead, as if I didn’t exist.’

 

I’ve heard comments like this several times over the years from people who are in wheelchairs. Whether you were born with a disability or suffered some illness or injury later in life, unfortunately, once you’re in a wheelchair, you may not be treated with much respect. Because I’m white, middle-class and educated, I take it for granted that, most of the time, I’ll be treated with basic courtesy. Recent examples when this hasn’t been the case – talking to a website company on the phone, dealing with a real estate agent – left me feeling quite put out. How dare they be patronising towards me! In the midst of my indignation I suddenly remembered that, for many of the people I work with, being treated with patronising disdain is probably a daily reality. Continue reading “Respect” »

Appreciation

Yellow flowers

Karoshi, the Japanese word for death from overwork, is legally recognised in Japan and can be used in law-suits and compensation claims. In Australia, working hours are generally less extreme, but nonetheless, according to the ABS, almost 40% of us report feeling always or frequently rushed and pressed for time. People often come to mindfulness training with a sense of being so busy racing from one task to the next, they are hardly aware of their own lives. After a weekend retreat, or during the eight week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course, many report an increased sense of appreciation. The more we can appreciate what we already have, the less we need to feel driven to constantly achieve more and acquire more things. Appreciation is also a powerful antidote to feeling empty and disconnected from life. Yet sadly, the saying ‘you don’t appreciate what you’ve got till it’s gone’ is often only too true. Continue reading “Appreciation” »